{"id":1149,"date":"2014-05-29T11:47:17","date_gmt":"2014-05-29T11:47:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brainyacademyny.com\/parkslope\/?p=1149"},"modified":"2015-02-11T12:07:23","modified_gmt":"2015-02-11T12:07:23","slug":"help-child-overcome-shynesspart-1-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brainyacademyny.com\/parkslope\/help-child-overcome-shynesspart-1-2\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help Your Child Overcome Shyness(part 1 or 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<p>Like many parents I wonder at the wealth of differences between my two children.\u00a0 Same genes, same lifestyle and upbringing, yet the way the two look at the world is almost entirely different.\u00a0 My older is a complete and total extrovert, makes friends instantly and can downright annoy strangers with his chattiness.\u00a0 My younger is shy, prefers to stay back in the crowd and takes a while to warm up.\u00a0 Yet both of my boys have a strong, happy presence, each in his own right.<\/p>\n<p>Like many parents I worry about my children.\u00a0 I worry if my older one\u2019s love of people is going to lead him to dangerous paths later, when peer pressure becomes a significant problem.\u00a0 I worry if my little one\u2019s shyness will prevent him from embracing life with missed opportunities and delayed regrets.\u00a0 If there is one thing I am sure of, it\u2019s that shy people do tend to have a harder time socially than outgoing people.\u00a0 In the recent headlines an extreme example of a shy, introverted teenager Elliot O. Roger fueled by misogynistic influences created a dangerous killer.\u00a0 I am not implying that all shy people have the potential to become one, but you do have to wonder if these horrible events would have taken place had he only been more outgoing and had an easier time making friends.\u00a0 There must be a balance in all things and I place a high priority on both teaching my little one to be more outgoing and teaching my older one to be more aware that not all people may have his best interests at heart.<\/p>\n<p>This is the first part of an article presents some tips on teaching your shy child to be more comfortable in new situations:<\/p>\n<p>Tip 1: Start small:<br \/>\nI like to ask my little one to order for himself in a restaurant, to ask him to pay the check in a diner (where you must bring a credit card and check to the front), to ask the wait person for more water or encourage him to say hello to the bus driver.\u00a0 Although these daily interactions may not mean much to you and I, it does create the skill in our shy children to help them communicate with strangers. Ask when the child is well rested and in a good mood to help introduce this as a positive, happy experience.<\/p>\n<p>Tip 2: Show up EARLY:<br \/>\nOne way in which we encourage shy children at Brainy Academy is by asking the parents to get to the class early.\u00a0 Ideally 15 to 20 minutes before the class starts the child can come in with the parent, get acquainted with the classroom, meet the teachers and get comfortable.\u00a0 This also creates a situation where the child is the very first person to be in the class and other children are \u201cjoining them.\u201d\u00a0 The worst thing to do is be a late comer to the class.\u00a0 Have you ever walked into a meeting 5 minutes late, everyone is already there and as you open the door everybody looks at you (unintentionally)?\u00a0 You know that uncomfortable feeling of being a newcomer to the group?\u00a0 Now put that into 4 year old\u2019s perspective.\u00a0 I think there is something evolutionary about not wanting to join a group in progress.\u00a0 If a child shows up late to the class unless they are very comfortable already I know there will be a problem.<\/p>\n<p>Tip 3: Introduce new situations:<br \/>\nPart of the problem in my household is that everyone who surrounds my little one is someone he has known practically since birth.\u00a0 He attends a school I own, a class that was taught by his aunt.\u00a0 B\u2019s grandmother runs the daycare center where he has spent some of his days off school.\u00a0 He has been accompanying his brother to the soccer program he is currently attending since he was 3 months old.\u00a0 So on a recent trip to a Cancun Club Med B was super excited to join the kids club.\u00a0 Of course as excited as he was to hang out with the other children he ran out of the club after me less than 3 minutes later.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t push it and we came back early next morning.\u00a0 We walked around their central premises, talked to the teachers, and acquainted ourselves with the surroundings.\u00a0 After leaving (brief goodbye, no big scene) I observed him for a while and caught him a couple of times walking with the group around the resort.\u00a0 He seemed quite comfortable.\u00a0 It might be easier for me to just hang out with him all day, as he can happily play by himself for hours. \u00a0But I believe it\u2019s an invaluable experience for him to come into a new situation and learn to be comfortable with an entirely new group of people.\u00a0 So if you are going to a resort with a kids club, take advantage and your child may thank you for it.\u00a0 You can also try a group class he or she has never visited before (we offer classes like this at Brainy Academy).\u00a0 Even a new park can be a huge change for a shy and reserved child and might be a good way to start opening them to new experiences.<\/p>\n<p>Many more tips to come in part 2!<\/p>\n<p>Viktoria Altman<br \/>\nPresident Brainy Academy<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Like many parents I wonder at the wealth of differences between my two children.\u00a0 Same genes, same lifestyle and upbringing, yet the way the two look at the world is almost entirely different.\u00a0 My older is a complete and total extrovert, makes friends instantly and can downright annoy strangers with his chattiness.\u00a0 My younger is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1150,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[20,26,27,16,14],"class_list":["post-1149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-brainy-academy","tag-elliot-o-roger","tag-outgoing-children","tag-overcome-shyness","tag-shyness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - 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